Chequebook for Lovers
by LollyMc
Summary: John receives an intriguing birthday present from Sherlock. How will he choose to use it and what effects will it have on their relationship? J/S A bit cracky but all in the name of fun and mild smut ;  R&R s'il vouz plait x
1. Chapter 1

Chequebook for Lovers

Chapter One – Birthday

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock nor do I profit from this, unless you count the sunny feeling of goodness that comes from knowing some people are reading my fic.**

**Summary: John gets a rather odd present from Sherlock. How will he choose to use it?**

**Pairing: John/Sherlock ;) YUMMYMANLOVE ;)**

It had been a rather pleasant day, mused John as he brushed cake crumbs lazily off his knitted jumper and smiled sleepily at his flatmate, who was dozing curled up on the sofa. He looked cozy as a cat by the fireside.

Sherlock had been positively brilliant today, wishing John a Happy Birthday and presenting him with a slightly burned piece of toast and a lukewarm cup of tea in the morning, then proceeding to take him to witness the conclusion of the latest case.

That made six murderers they'd put behind bars in three months. Good going, John thought to himself. Especially as he was also juggling a job at the clinic.

Later on they'd had cake and champagne that Mrs. Hudson had brought round. The bubbles had gone straight to the detective's head.

John studied the man on the sofa again, letting a warm smile play about his lips. There was something about seeing Sherlock so vulnerable that was beautiful. Those high cheekbones still with sleep, fingers looking longer and more slender because his phone was absent, and the usually so restless feet tucked under blanket.

The doctor wanted to go and stroke his face, letting his fingers rest on those rose-pink lips. John shook himself. He'd had a little more champagne than he realised. Laughing to himself, he looked down towards Sherlock's coat, which was covering his legs like a blanket.

A little red ribbon was hanging out of the top pocket. Curiosity piqued, John pulled it, and retrieved a rectangular package wrapped in sparkly paper with dinosaurs on it. There was a little tag that read:

_John I can't believe how nosy you are, poking through my pockets. I suppose you might as well open it now though. Happy Birthday. From Sherlock. _

He laughed quietly; undoing the crinkly wrapping that John also realised said 'Happy 5th Birthday!' It wasn't too much of a stretch to think that Sherlock might have nicked it from some unsuspecting child.

As soon as the gift was freed John stopped dead. This was suddenly no laughing matter. It was what looked like a booklet for ration-vouchers, or a chequebook but the words that were jumping out at John were, "FOR LOVERS!"

His breath hitched in his throat as his brain slowly took in the whole front cover. '_Romantic Roy's Vouchers For Lovers Collection: The Gift That Gives 20 Times!'_

A massive part of John's brain was telling him this was a practical joke and that there was no way that Sherlock could be romantically interested in him. Then there was a tiny, extremely repressed voice squeaking something about how he wished it wasn't his friend being immature.

Either way...he was going to have to question Sherlock when he awoke.

John took a cursory flip through the booklet and blanched. _Shower for two _were the first words that assaulted his eyes_. _

He was being a prude, he realised this and that he should be laughing his head off right now. Anyone else would be.

Sherlock Holmes wasn't the average man though, and John wondered if the detective would want to take these more seriously than Romantic Roy had ever intended. He kind of wished he did.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two – White Flag

**AN: Sorry this was so long in coming and that it's short :( Bad times. OH! Disclaimers! I never do them so I forget :( Clearly, and sadly, Sherlock is not mine. I only get a deliciously tingly sense of joy from this, other than that no profit whatsoever ;) Though the tingliness is lovely! Also the vouchers are REAL! :D Yes. They were a brilliant present from a friend. **

**Thankyou dear, DEAR reviewers. You precious people: Kismet, Cartoonheart, personwithnoname (this person actually didn't put a name :'( it saddens me), WonderfallsOnDaisies, machi-tan, izzabella11 and Aqua-lily6  
**

**Enjoy! **

"Fuck you Sherlock!"(

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you John?"

"God! You're such a CHILD! Listen to me when I say butterflies _do_ have legs!"

"Why would they need legs? They have wings."

"You have legs but you still need arms don't you! You're wrong, accept it."

"Poppycock. You're just trying to trick me again."

"When have I tricked you?"

"Many times. Once you told me that there was a fourth Jaws film, and the shark died because it ate too many of the heroines."

"I was pulling your leg, not _tricking _you. It's called a joke!"

John turned away from Sherlock, and stared intently at the frozen head that was sitting on their kitchen counter. The head's face made John want to punch something slightly less than Sherlock's did.

"It amounts to the same thing. Either way I refuse to work with you or talk to you until you admit you're incorrect."

John ground his teeth and shot the detective a dirty glare. To give his shaking hands something to do he opened and shut the drawers, enjoying the violent rattling sound they made.

Something rectangular and orange jammed suddenly, causing John to catch his thumb in the drawer and groan in pain. Sherlock smirked from his new position curled on the sofa. Retrieving the offending object, which happened to be the the chequebook he'd received, John suddenly had a spark of brilliance.

He had sat down one night, looking through all the _vouchers, _and one had struck him as actually quite useful.

John scrabbled for a pencil and filled in the coupon:

"1 End to Argument: Like waving a white flag!

Redeemed on: 12/4/2010

Occasion: The Butterfly Disagreement

_Voucher entitles Bearer to one (1) instant cessation of argument with Redeemee. Upon presentation of voucher, Bearer shall have the final word, followed by silence and absence of any retort associated with said argument. Argument may be revisited later only by mutual agreement."_

With a calm and growing sense of superiority John tossed the piece of paper at a sulking Sherlock.

The detective attempted to ignore this but his curiosity was piqued and eventually he picked up the voucher and read it was a slight smirk.

"They have legs. Six of them," John said and was about to leave for work when Sherlock stopped him in his tracks by touching his shoulder.

"You do understand that if this," he gestured to the paper in his hand, "is to have validity, the others do too."

John was slightly out of sorts because Sherlock's hand was still on his shoulder, and it was warm and comforting and now it was sliding slowly down his arm, _almost_ like a caress.

"Yeah well, I get to choose when to use them, if ever." John felt like adding _so there _but felt that might have been slightly hypocritical seeing as he'd called Sherlock a child earlier.

"Actually, the Bearer does. I'd keep a close eye on that chequebook if I were you. Don't want it falling into the wrong hands do we know?"

"What you're going to nick it? And use them...?"

"Oh beautifully subtle John, as always. But no, don't flatter yourself."

Despite what was coming out of the detective's mouth, there was a suggestive glint in his eyes that told a different story. He winked, slung on his black coat and walked out the door shutting it behind him.

In his haste to get to the clinic (he was _very late _after their argument) John accidentally left the chequebook on the kitchen table.


End file.
